have yours

the chances don't come often
funny the understanding of a moment only comes after you've left it.
I am laughing because I don't turn right
survival mode.
no matter whats behind.

We all want to grow
come to some understandings.
but the girl
her thoughts about happiness
keep her away from
what really needs to be held
and its shrinking away at her feet.

so stay focused and be aware of whats in front of your shoes.
Thinking to much is like drinking to much its dangerous.
so the liver is clean he sobered up
but cant shut that mind off
just learning to live.

Does one understand happiness if they don't leave it. just once.
as you wouldn't understand pain until you've felt it in your  bones as they break.
from the California beaches to the mesas of New Mexico. just remember when it pours it rains.

check out

just trying to write
nothing in store for you but as the majority trys
the rest just fail into the endless gardens that don't produce.
no harvest
no bounty
so your labors fall to dry seeds
broken hands and a heart that doesn't know thanks.
i cant stay to focus my energy to the people that just take.
people will break before the system does.

get paid just enough to stay
work hard enough to not get fired
the balance
it haunts my dreams and fills my sleep
with twisted sheets and cold sweats
thoughts of a batter yesterday and a worse tomorrow.
you limited the limits as most don't come back from that line
once its crossed.

I keep my hands still, no gesture signed here.
someone gets the best of my love
and i cant keep smiles on all these faces
so dreams fail us in the quite nights

turn the lights

long and dry
most nights
miss sleeping in the grass so the sand works for now
im just a stranger
maybe a face youll see no longer
but we all look for that golden shore
so we keep movement
as something to move towards
one day it will be all new
just words creating another gap in the balance
seems to be always one sided
no matter the burden I have dropped
sure as the y in tomorrow
ill pick up another to carry.

so we are now used to seeing things get habitual
like
a heart beat.
the burns are hard to avoid
especially when you light fires everywehere you go
a pocket full of half smoked cigarettes and
a lot of forgotten thoughts ashed out.
right now its pain and desires
but
work is no an anchor as it seems the only thing i can hold
as fucked up as it is.

so i shift between
my hands,
my heart,
my head.
cant please them all.

deliver me

this is not OK but what about her unspoken anvils
heavy hearts
like her feeling something else than the sexual desires of strangers
its always the same thing.
A repetition.
so,
it has to end this way
while its still fresh with the warmth of life
what is death if it is not fresh.
soon this will be grey and cold and slowly forgotten piece by piece detail by noise.
but the frustration of spitting when i try to cough out the words i mean to say keeps me shaking as the moment is gone and the experience forgotten like the kites hung twisted on the wires melting in the heat of time.
we don't get to be better in the past
and all we do is invite walls into this wide open space.

6.9.14.5.

I'm ready to get rid of some of these bags
and rest my head, let myself sit
deliver the dead with a thanks

and maneuver around the rest.

misjudgment and a ton of bricks
some things hold weight without sight.
raw as the truth still gets ripped
but damn did tomorrow already play us
too busy worrying about that anchor to the past
your only line.

taking no simple direction but they said to follow your mind
once you've made it up
so i still have time and money to loose.
thank you for that.

where I belong

boiling thoughts heated by
sincere silence
play away from the guilty conscience
and just keep going when someone needs you
there is a position to be played
grab the pen and find yourself
sometimes its not just me
keeping myself short
but those tricks were learned along time ago
something unbreakable
there but untraceable
and reactions slow to come
the point was missed the hardship was not
so i carry fine tips now
ride softer
but that is just today
poems are not going to change anything.

cracked the foundation
in spiral and out of control
at least there is an order
still motion as trouble landed.
As the heart beats we flourish with a sickness and a hunger
to just go easier on self.
but never better thick skin
and weak nerves
we breathe shallow
afraid to see our stomachs grow
plenty of room
but the scars now are the only way to tell
a welcomed hell
we only live page to page.

order code

Salvation
a silent heart rattle
and empty bottles
they used to be full of a fix
but i broke myself
so the cure comes slow and without remorse.

in the mix
and usually one foot in one foot out
now that is commitment
its just a line
far from a step
were all wounded but we are walking.

its calculated
the grief and the glory
unknowingly you sacrificed the best parts of yourself to something that only took.

and we all drank sadly
so not much was noted.