picture the dream

speak easy when the flock all follow the fold.
slipping to find that ground to stand
something here is worth everything of me.
it's time finally to give.

ending up with pockets full of distance
distracting the disposition between near and far.

close to the reality as the world continues to spin too fast.
images that stay need to be digested like a fan that only blows hot air in the heat.

we work against ourselves.

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No Cents At All

Blackened by the smoke and the distance still left to go
fortunate for the findings cause sometimes they come too late.
Not today.
The calm after the storm like everything is still to devastated to move. So we sit in the awkward silence of grief and disbelief.

Here now are the days that my head rests easy.

Trying to remember the words to describe a smile or that light feeling like I am the one finally laughing.

Harder than you think.............. expressing joy.

Been living off that misery I have built,
self loathing a bit of pity and a whole lot of "what the fuck"
and I wont count the days depression sets in and don't ask me about the cravings.

The sun is breaking the walls that were built in the darkness of no moon
here the heat drys any wet dreams,
no temptations to feed on.

so fuck the wine give me bottles of life.

Its all the same we find the things we can live off of
like living in the moment and dying in the result.

Ddddanger

A place temporary forever.
but solidarity helps with solitude
A known thought of welcomes worn thin.
Fragility based through her own failure to answer her instincts
but if only it was easy to take away faith.

Its pointless.

Common ground found its way to uncommon shoes
but what the hell does that really mean
I know you hate me but its not like I hide my flaws
that's a gift, the same place a curse comes from.

one in the same.

No sugar just salt

daily casualties
misconceptions break truths
when the first bullet rattles the seize fire
both sides hold blame
like two hidden aces held by different hands.

Wish I knew what you were looking for
But than again I wish I knew what I was looking for.

So many doors
all conceal prospective
judgment a human defensive when differences make the innocent insecure
A social balance
but the magnetic drive is not set to the sounds of drums but to the sounds of fading trumpets.
and we march on.

Drama will not die it breeds in the hearts of the ungrateful
determined to live on a wire
easily the past can push any back from that blinking green light.

Not better substitution than reality the only teacher that we need here.
so much of the wrong substance did i feed my brain
So we play the waiting game
with full plates and empty hearts
caged in and the spectators are the ones we share our life's with
a joyful occasion
watching souls looking for that perfect dotted line.

Sing for the bloody salvation because at nights end we go alone.
The bed might be warm the opposite side but the words are put away for a reason
The one thing about life is if we cant be safe with ourselves we are doomed
like a locked room its time too live with the noise you make.

Hate to describe the position of my politeness
but I have laid enough plots down to be guilty just by simple design
like the sign I will hold tomorrow "I have no more lemonade just my opinions".

Today

It hurts
trying so hard to do the right thing staying on a path that should be the right course
but feeling the dullness of my life now more than ever
you take away a mans vice and expect him to be the same

Maybe that is the hole that I am feeling a forever emptiness that was left by alcohol.

The still suffering

Crossroads built by my own lack of direction

sobriety producing no result

Paper blanks

This is a poem that was shared to me a long time ago by two dear friends. One whom I still talk to the other I have no Idea if she is even still alive. I do not know the Author but I will put it in quotation marks for respect purpose.

"Did you tackle the trouble that came your way, with a resolute heart and cheerful
or hide your face from the light of day with a craven soul and fearful.
Oh a troubles a ton or a troubles an once or a trouble is what you make of it.

It isn't the fact that your hurt that counts but only how did you take it
so your beaten to earth, well, well whats that.

Come up with a smiling face.

Its nothing against you to fall down flat but to lie there that's disgrace
the harder your thrown the harder you'll bounce.

Be proud of your blackened eye
it isnt the fact that your beat that counts its how did you fight and why

an though your be done to earth
what than,
if you battled the best you could, if you played your part in the world of men
why the critic call it good.

Death comes with a crawl or comes with a pounce and whether hes slow or spry
it isn't the fact that your dead that counts
but only how did you die?"

Well wish

I have to put it to rest
left to let some things stay alone
but I cant drink my breakfast anymore
so I look for things that still break fast.

Its real here and I cant pretend like I don't care anymore
Silence as it stays cold but its nice to see my own breath battle
playing favorites when it comes time to choose
like I already know who is willing to stand behind me

In my hands I see the emptiness
Guess they couldn't be down for forever
at times they held way to much
Like my bookshelf or that self made cross
but the game I played wasn't fair.
So it only means right that I lost.

Still I will not loose my grip
but I have to stop taking things forgranted before they are all gone
Its like I have to make sure this is all worth it
the fight for balance
Or the people that I will sacrifice for
 I still don't know all the exact measures so it wont hurt when she doesn't recognize the levels.

This is just a breakdown to a page that has no right to talk back
its alright cause I have seen the light.

So I at least know what it looks like.