man made

I'm laying low
no need to speak all actions have sounds
so my head rests in my hands
my nerves are shot again
but i learned not to complain
i like my problems only in the way that they are mine.

fake it till you fix it
better than till you make it
who does anymore anyway.

just a thousands steps away from taking the first
tucked away and your missing your moment
thick with the decisions but you look a little sick
like this heat doesn't bother you
but we are still standing here
who see you through
not me.

no game is fair
upon the board lay down true intentions
and you'll see with your own too that the threat is more than a win or loss.
inside we keep these crosses self made but strong enough that we rely on its weight
I stopped praying along time ago, but guilty of looking towards the sky and asking for understanding.
not just another one of those mother fuckers.
my talents begin with my giving everything i have
my fault is I am too aware when I'm loosing my grip.
forget the balance just over do it all
live in the consequences die in your own results


walls in the head,
pen and page
I'm talking everyone of you.

have yours

the chances don't come often
funny the understanding of a moment only comes after you've left it.
I am laughing because I don't turn right
survival mode.
no matter whats behind.

We all want to grow
come to some understandings.
but the girl
her thoughts about happiness
keep her away from
what really needs to be held
and its shrinking away at her feet.

so stay focused and be aware of whats in front of your shoes.
Thinking to much is like drinking to much its dangerous.
so the liver is clean he sobered up
but cant shut that mind off
just learning to live.

Does one understand happiness if they don't leave it. just once.
as you wouldn't understand pain until you've felt it in your  bones as they break.
from the California beaches to the mesas of New Mexico. just remember when it pours it rains.

check out

just trying to write
nothing in store for you but as the majority trys
the rest just fail into the endless gardens that don't produce.
no harvest
no bounty
so your labors fall to dry seeds
broken hands and a heart that doesn't know thanks.
i cant stay to focus my energy to the people that just take.
people will break before the system does.

get paid just enough to stay
work hard enough to not get fired
the balance
it haunts my dreams and fills my sleep
with twisted sheets and cold sweats
thoughts of a batter yesterday and a worse tomorrow.
you limited the limits as most don't come back from that line
once its crossed.

I keep my hands still, no gesture signed here.
someone gets the best of my love
and i cant keep smiles on all these faces
so dreams fail us in the quite nights

turn the lights

long and dry
most nights
miss sleeping in the grass so the sand works for now
im just a stranger
maybe a face youll see no longer
but we all look for that golden shore
so we keep movement
as something to move towards
one day it will be all new
just words creating another gap in the balance
seems to be always one sided
no matter the burden I have dropped
sure as the y in tomorrow
ill pick up another to carry.

so we are now used to seeing things get habitual
like
a heart beat.
the burns are hard to avoid
especially when you light fires everywehere you go
a pocket full of half smoked cigarettes and
a lot of forgotten thoughts ashed out.
right now its pain and desires
but
work is no an anchor as it seems the only thing i can hold
as fucked up as it is.

so i shift between
my hands,
my heart,
my head.
cant please them all.